


The Comfort Levels Consequences

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Series: Comfort Levels 'Verse [2]
Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community: bbt_kink, F/M, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-06
Updated: 2011-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:33:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Penny hears Sheldon and Leonard arguing loudly over something and storms over to demand an explanation, and gets a lot more than she bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Comfort Levels Consequences

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Comfort Levels](https://archiveofourown.org/works/162541) by [concupiscence66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/concupiscence66/pseuds/concupiscence66). 



> This is a sequel to Concupid's [_Comfort Levels_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/162541), which is Leonard/Raj and set sometime after 'The Love Car Displacement', making both it and this potentially spoiler-laden. The last part had a line in it that set off the plotbunny that led to this story. So basically, reading it first might be a good idea before you read this. Apart from anything else, it's awesome.
> 
> Dedicated to Concupid, for being my inspiration, my cheerleader, and my first friend in this shiny new fandom.
> 
> The Big Bang Theory characters belong to Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, and presumably some television channel in the US, not that I would know because we get it on an extremely delayed timeline here in Australia, which makes it difficult to be a hardcore fan, not that I'm bitter or anything.

At first Penny assumes the yelling is simply due to an altercation over Halo or something similarly world-shattering, but it goes on too long and gets too loud and, right when she’s about to charge over there and yell at them to shut up, which would at least reduce the volume by a quarter, she hears the apartment door open and Howard stomping down the stairs. At least, she assumes it’s Howard, because she can hear Raj calling pleadingly after him before the door slams closed again and Raj’s footsteps follow Howard’s down the stairs. The two of them remind her of a pair of puppies who alternate between snapping at each other and sleeping curled up together, affectionate as can be.

She’s not entirely sure she’s comfortable with thinking about Howard and Raj as puppies, but it’s the mental image that stays with her as the volume level in 4A rises again, forcing her out of bed to cross the hall and open the door without bothering to knock.

If Howard and Raj are squabbling puppies nipping one another’s heels, then Sheldon and Leonard are hysterically barking guard dogs whose territory has been invaded. Sheldon’s in his spot, fingers drumming against the arm of the couch, nonetheless managing to look more imposing than Leonard, who’s pacing like a farm dog along the inside of a barbed wire fence.

She really needs to quit with the dog analogies already.

Both of their heads snap towards her when she enters, and she thinks maybe they were expecting Raj and Howard to return because they’re both glaring, but when they see it’s only her both of them relax a minute amount.

“This really isn’t a good time, Penny,” Leonard says.

“No,” Penny says agreeably enough, “it’s not.” She sits down beside Sheldon, familiar worn leather rubbing against her legs where they’re bare beneath the pajama shorts she’s wearing. “Eleven-thirty is a terrible time to have a screaming match that wakes up your neighbor and probably half the building as well. So, which one of you is going to tell me what happened?” She puts on her most attentive face and looks from Sheldon to Leonard and then back again.

Sheldon’s lips are sealed and he shakes his head just the once: left, right, then back to dead centre to fix his stare of disapproval upon Leonard once more.

Leonard, when Penny looks back at him, is blushing. And his hair is rumpled. And his lips have that reddened wet make-out session look to them. And despite the death glare that Sheldon is giving him, and the way he’s shifting uncomfortably under that intense cornflower-blue gaze, there’s an unmistakable aura of satiation about him.

“If you’re not going to tell me, I’m going to start guessing,” she informs them.

Sheldon is the perfect model of impassive silence.

Leonard opens his mouth, thinks about it, closes it again.

“Okay. Fine.” Penny holds her fisted hands up before herself and pops out a thumb. “Did Leonard make out with someone in your spot, Sheldon?”

That gets her another head shake. Huh.

Index finger. “Did Leonard make out with someone elsewhere in the apartment?”

Long pause, then a nod as brief as the head shake. Aha! She’ll have this mystery solved before she even gets to her pinkie. “In his room?”

Tiny nod.

“And it bothered you because she was loud,” Penny says, feeling pre-emptively victorious.

This time Sheldon actually favors her with a verbal response. “No,” he says, the corner of his mouth quirking, and she hears Leonard groan, and knows she must look befuddled.

“Well... if she wasn’t loud, what was the problem with her?” she asks, all five digits of her left hand spread out now.

“Penny...” Leonard says.

“At this point I think it only fair to point out one major error in your assumptions, as you are so far on the wrong track that you’re almost certain not to find the right one without assistance,” Sheldon says, looking and sounding quite smug.

“ _Sheldon_!”

“What error?” Penny asks, despite Leonard’s eyes imploring her not to.

“You are using the incorrect pronouns in this particular scenario.”

Penny blinks. She’s not totally stupid, she knows what a pronoun is, but she’s just having a little trouble parsing what Sheldon means.

“You made out with a _guy_?” she finally blurts, incredulous, and then on the heels of that, “Was it _Sheldon_?”

“ _No_!” both of them chorus in hurried unison. “As if,” Leonard adds, and she can’t tell if the tone in his voice is withering or wistful.

“Then who...”

“What do you mean, ‘as if’?”

“It was Raj,” Leonard admits at last.

 _Well_. That kinda sorta explains all the yelling and flouncing, at least, although why it happened in the first place is a little more mysterious. “Sweetie, _why_ did you make out with Raj?”

“Are you trying to imply that you _wouldn’t_ make out with me?”

Leonard gives her a look that’s pure misery, ignoring Sheldon’s insistent questioning. “We were lonely,” he says quietly. “And Howard’s a total ass.”

Sheldon is as stubbornly as ever pursuing his train of thought, and deftly couples this little carriage onto it. “You were lonely? But what about me? I’m your best friend. I don’t see how you can be lonely with your best friend living with you. For that matter, I would have assumed that any sexual experimentation with a member of your own gender would have taken place with me, not with Koothrappali.”

“What the hell, Sheldon? How can you say that?” Leonard has stopped wearing furrows in the floor and is standing a few feet from the couch, arms folded. “You were out with _Amy_ , it’s not like you were even _here_!”

“But I’m here most of the time,” Sheldon tries to protest, but Leonard cuts him off, snapping so vehemently that Penny’s hand involuntarily lifts, fingertips pressing against her lips to keep from yelling at them both and making this exponentially worse.

“No, you’re not! You might be physically here, Sheldon, but you’re not _here_ here. You don’t get how I feel every time you go off somewhere with your girlfriend, or how when you’re not with her you won’t stop talking about her.”

“I assumed you would at least have some small interest in the topics of conversation that Amy Farrah Fowler and I discuss,” Sheldon says. “And she is _not_ my girlfriend.”

 _Moonpie, you’re just digging yourself in deeper_ , Penny thinks as Leonard gets a dangerously angry look on his face.

“She’s not your girlfriend.”

“Well, no, Leonard, how many times--”

“So you’re effectively not dating anyone. Single. Unattached. Free.”

“I -- yes.”

Leonard nods thoughtfully, as though he’s just slotted all the possible variables into an equation and is pretty sure he knows what the answer will be even though he hasn’t actually run through the calculation yet. Penny is frozen, only her eyes moving back and forth between them, Leonard’s red cheeks, Sheldon’s serious-stubborn look.

All of a sudden she doesn’t even have to move her eyes to look back and forth between them, because Leonard is on his knees in front of Sheldon, fingers threading through Sheldon’s hair and pulling him into a short but thorough kiss. Penny hears the sound of surprise that Sheldon makes; it’s almost as high-pitched as her own stunned squeak. Leonard’s glasses are nudged askew, his mouth is pressed hard against Sheldon’s, and Penny doesn’t overlook the way that Sheldon’s knees squeeze inwards a little to keep Leonard in place, caught in front of him.

She loses sight of the details after that and _stares_ , because, just, well, _wow_.

* * *

Leonard pulls back -- but not _away_ \-- at last. For a moment there Sheldon looks like a scarecrow, all stick arms and stick legs and painted-on confusion beneath charmingly rumpled hair. Penny realizes she’s never seen him so out of his element. She can feel her heart hammering in her chest and if her hand hadn’t been pressed so tightly to her mouth she feels like her lower jaw would’ve dropped clean off.

“Wh--” Sheldon’s voice comes out in a breathless whisper. He clears his throat, tries again. “What on Earth was that all about?”

Penny doesn’t think he realizes he’s got his hands on Leonard’s shoulders, fingertips digging in a little.

Leonard just looks at him. Penny wonders if the two of them have forgotten she is there. “Raj wasn’t my first choice any more than I was Raj’s,” he says softly. “We both knew that when we had sex. I just thought _you_ might need to know that.”

Sheldon just looks back, expression reverting from scarecrow-startled to stubborn-Sheldon. Something in his eyes, in the way his tongue slips out to run nervously over his lower lip, gives away the emotion just beneath that impassive surface, though.

Normally Penny would shatter the silence with a squeal of “ _You_ had _sex_ with _Raj_?”, but this time it’s like she’s been concussed by the shockwaves of the bombshell that’s just been dropped beside her, and she cannot speak. Sheldon’s not twitching or anything, but ripples of some emotion are spreading across the calm surface of his face. Penny can’t tell if it’s anger or what, but she does see his fingers tighten on Leonard’s shoulders. She’s about to reach out and intervene before either of them gets hurt -- physically hurt, anyway--

\--and then Leonard gives up on waiting and just kisses Sheldon again, an angry clash of lips and tongue and teeth, and Penny’s feeling shockwaves all over again at just how _hot_ this is. It’s so weird; taken individually, neither of them are exactly Mr Universe ( _sorry, Leonard_ ), but there’s something endearing and earnest about the two of them together that makes the scene simultaneously sweet and sexy.

Maybe this is how guys feel watching lesbian porn, who knows?

She’s amazed that Sheldon hasn’t shoved Leonard away and dashed for the bathroom to chug a bottle of Listerine. His hands are so tight on Leonard’s shoulders that the knuckles have gone white, and his knees are still kind of squeezed against Leonard’s sides, and then Leonard lets out the happy _mmmm_ ing noise that he makes when he’s being thoroughly kissed, and Penny just _knows_ that now Sheldon is kissing him back.

She can’t believe that this is happening. She’s sitting on her ex's couch watching him make out with his stoic, uptight roommate. Who, as it happens, has a furrowed brow even in the middle of the kiss like he’s contemplating all the little variables: when and where to move his lips and tongue, when to draw in a breath, when to move one hand from Leonard’s shoulder up to comb through his unruly, JBF hair. When this move makes Leonard whimper, actually _whimper_ , Penny swears she can see the corner of Sheldon’s mouth turn up in a _theorem proved, Q.E.D._ smirk.

When at last they separate again Penny is too afraid to speak, lest she shatter the odd perfection of the moment. They’re practically giving each other googly eyes... well, at least Leonard has a daffy grin on his face and Sheldon -- Sheldon looks a little stunned, but not exactly displeased, which is a good start.

But then Sheldon, being Sheldon, has to ruin everything by asking, “Leonard, did you shower after engaging in coitus with Koothrappali?”

Leonard looks bemused, then annoyed, then gets up and storms off, slamming the bathroom door. Penny waits until the water’s running before she seizes the nearest cushion and smacks Sheldon over the head with it.

“You _ass_!”

“What?” Sheldon sounds genuinely shocked.

“Why’d you have to ruin the moment?”

“Penny, I know you have different standards of cleanliness than do the rest of us, but personal hygiene is important to me.”

“Yeah, but you... and Leonard... and you offended Leonard.”

Sheldon’s lower lip is kiss-gleaming wet; he runs his tongue across it nervously. “That honestly was not my intention. I simply wished to ascertain whether he’d had time to clean up after his... encounter, as I understand it can be unpleasant to go around -- uh -- messy.” He’s a bit stammery, but rallies with, “I have the feeling that he didn’t as he was still wearing the same clothing as he was when I left for dinner with Amy Farrah Fowler.”

The way he keeps using Amy’s full name like that annoys the _crap_ out of Penny. “Oh, and I suppose _you_ showered before engaging in... in sucking face with him?”

“Actually, I did,” Sheldon says, and that’s when Penny hits him with the cushion again. He takes it off her with very little effort and sets it neatly aside. “In fact, it was a trick of the acoustics in the bathroom that informed me that he was engaging in coitus in the first place.”

“Did you know it was Raj?”

“I suspected as much, but only had it confirmed when I saw the tie on the door. Star patterns.” He lets out the amused chuff that passes for a laugh with him. “Because Koothrappali’s an astrophysicist, I assume. That was when I called Howard.”

Penny wants to start beating on him in earnest; she wants to break through his façade and make him show some sort of _emotion_ , damn it; and part of her wants to crawl into his lap and kiss him senseless, because that just-been-kissed look is surprisingly attractive.

...wait, what?

As it happens, Leonard interrupts this line of thinking. The water shuts off; the bathroom door squeaks open almost immediately and Leonard peeks around it, looking bare and vulnerable with his hair wet, his torso beaded with water, squinting at them.

“Sheldon,” he says. “I can’t find my glasses. Help me?”

Penny automatically moves to get up and go help him, but Sheldon stops her, hand shooting out and catching her wrist, pulling her back down onto the couch before he rises to his feet. He crosses the living room, moving slowly and deliberately. Penny realizes it’s so that Leonard can hear him coming and not get startled. It’s the only thing that makes any kind of sense out of this whole bizarre scenario.

* * *

It feels as though with every step Sheldon takes time slows down a little. By the time he reaches Leonard, Penny feels like they’re moving in slow motion as Sheldon puts one hand on Leonard’s shoulder and uses the other to gently tilt Leonard’s blind, trusting face up to his.

The moment when they kiss makes up for all of Sheldon’s uptight bullcrap. It’s like something out of a romantic movie, if romantic movies ever featured two male physicists clinging together and kissing as though their lives depended on it. It starts out soft and slow, but before long Sheldon has Leonard -- who, as it turns out, is wearing only a towel -- pinned against the bathroom door-frame and Leonard has both hands in Sheldon’s hair and is getting water all over the front of Sheldon’s Green Lantern t-shirt and even though Sheldon’s fully dressed and Leonard is wearing his (extremely low-hung and precariously wrapped) towel, it’s almost like they’re wearing nothing at all.

What strikes her the most about the situation is how _familiar_ the two of them seem to be with each other, for two men who keep each other at arm’s length most of the time. They look so affectionate and passionate and in sync that it’s hard to believe this has come out of nowhere.

Maybe it hasn’t.

Maybe it _hasn’t_?

The two of them look like they’re about to vanish into one of their bedrooms. Penny can’t be having with that, not with so many unanswered questions, so she stands up again and hollers, “ _Hey_!” at them. She feels like threatening them with a bucket of cold water. “One of you is going to tell me what the hell is going on here, and _this_ time I’m _not_ playing Twenty Questions!” She plants her hands on her hips and glares at them, this time not caring about ruining any damn moment.

The two of them break apart reluctantly and Leonard ducks back into the bathroom, returning somewhat dryer, wearing his robe and de-fogging his glasses. Sheldon waits for him and they cross the room together, Sheldon settling into his spot and Leonard pulling his chair around so that they’re sitting in a little triangle. She can tell that they’re both aroused; she wonders if they can tell that she too is aroused beneath her mask of ire.

“This isn’t a new thing for you,” she says, addressing them both.

“No,” Leonard admits readily.

“How long’s it been going on? Have you two been, you know, _together_ all these years?” _Behind my back?_ she thinks but doesn’t say. _Behind Amy’s back?_

“No.” Leonard looks down at his lap. “It was more of a... I guess you’d call it an experiment.”

“So you _did_ experiment,” Penny says, giving Sheldon a bit of an accusatory glare. “And you had the nerve to tell him off for sleeping with Raj!” A sudden thought strikes her: is it only women Raj can’t talk around, or will he be unable to speak around Leonard now they’ve slept together? Now is perhaps not the best time to bring that up.

Sheldon looks mutinous. “He’d already tested the hypothesis,” he mutters. “He hardly needed to collect any further data.”

Leonard’s going red again, from anger rather than desire. “You think we were just _collecting data_?” he snaps. “Is that all you think that was about?” He looks ready to hit Sheldon, half rising out of his chair. Penny puts a hand up between them to dissuade him.

“Sheldon, sweetie, you really might want to be more careful with what words you use,” she says.

“He was the one who called it an experiment,” Sheldon says, and with that Leonard completely ignores Penny’s upraised hand and launches himself at Sheldon.

Penny’s not sure what he’s trying to accomplish, whether he’s trying to hit him or just skip the pleasantries and kill him, and she doesn’t intend to sit and wait to find out. As soon as he moves she’s moving as well, ending up sprawled on her back across Sheldon’s lap, the discarded cushion in her hands, attempting to hold Leonard off. Leonard’s weight is hot on top of her and his robe is no longer as tightly tied as it was. All three of them are breathing heavily, all three of them holding still for a moment in a tableau of hate and heat, anger and arousal.

“Leonard, get off,” she says through gritted teeth.

Leonard shakes his head, as mute as Raj. He’s got this intense look on his face as he stares down at her, and suddenly the cushion between them doesn’t seem like much defense at all, if it ever was.

“Leonard...”

“ _No_.”

“I’m not going to let you hurt Sheldon,” Penny warns him, ineffectually shoving the cushion against his chest, like he’s going to suddenly back off just because he’s been poked with a tassel.

“I’m not going to hurt Sheldon.” Leonard is bracing himself against the couch with one hand, but a good deal of his weight is on Penny. Must be. Oxygen deprivation’s the only explanation she can think of for how weak and dizzy she suddenly feels. “Not unless he asks nicely.” And with that he’s brazenly lowering his head and kissing her, kissing her hard, and this is so wrong, she’s spread out over Sheldon’s lap and Leonard’s kissing her and he’s just been kissing Sheldon and what is her life, anyway?

She barely has time to think this before Leonard ends the kiss rather abruptly, and Penny’s eyes blink open only to see Sheldon tugging Leonard up to him, using a handful of his hair as a handle, and Leonard goes willingly to Sheldon’s mouth and tongue and from this (awkward, kind of uncomfortable, but _so_ not complaining about it) position Penny can see how Sheldon works up from a soft closed-mouth kiss to something much more passionate. It looks like it feels damn good, judging from the way Leonard presses against him, against her.

Finally Sheldon lets go and Leonard leans against his chest for a moment, his eyes closed, his glasses lopsided. Sheldon looks down past him at Penny and just smiles. It’s not his fake smile, or the triumphant smirk from winning at Halo, but just a smile that offers up a challenge: _can you do better than that?_

Penny thinks she damn well can, conveys this with a simple cocked eyebrow, and Sheldon’s smile widens.

She tosses the cushion aside; there’s no need for _that_ any more. She touches Leonard’s cheek, which makes him open his eyes, and runs her fingertip down onto his chest, which is bare where the robe’s gaping open. There’s no doubt in her mind that he’s not wearing anything else under the robe either. She doodles little circles with her forefinger, sneaks her hand far enough under the fabric to flick at and tease his nipple. She makes a big show of being intent on this task -- and it’s worth watching Leonard’s face anyway; his eyes have fluttered closed again and he’s gone a pretty shade of pink -- so that, hopefully, Sheldon won’t realize where her free hand is going until it gets there.

Her right hand finds Sheldon’s left (his right hand is still entangled in Leonard’s hair) and pulls it up to her mouth swiftly, so that she can suck one of his long fingers between her lips and flick her tongue over it hard before he can react and yank his hand away. He lets out a choked moan and his hips roll up against her so that she can feel his arousal pressed hard against her back, and the smile is replaced by a stunned expression, which only brings a smile to her own lips.

Leonard’s own eyes pop open again; he takes in what she’s doing to Sheldon and echoes the moan. It sounds quite shocked coming from him. _Well_ , she thinks defensively, _you started it, Leonard, kissing us both, you_ \--

\--and then Leonard’s leaning back and Sheldon has pulled his hand away and he’s leaning down, it’s even more awkward now but he’s leaning down and his mouth descends upon hers and all the world around them falls away. There’s no longer any who did what, who kissed who, who started what and when, there’s just this, here and now, and more, more, _more_.

* * *

She’s got to admit it -- she’s thought about kissing Sheldon, once or twice. (Maybe more than twice.) Mostly just because it would startle him and make the others laugh and be silly. But this is the opposite of silly. His lips are incredibly soft and he’s just kissing her gently to start with, but then his tongue dances over her shock-parted lips and when her own tongue comes out to meet it his hand tightens on hers. Even then the kiss is slow and controlled and deliberate, and she realizes dimly that he’s taking his time to figure out how she likes to be kissed best, and that thought alone brings another rush of color to her already pink cheeks.

Then Leonard takes her other had off his chest to hold it between his hands and starts peppering it with little kisses, and _oh_ , that’s just not _fair_ , there’s two of them and only one of her and while ganging up to frag someone in Halo is funny, this isn’t at all funny, especially the part where she’s thinking in _Halo_ analogies, for crying out loud.

Sheldon stops kissing her briefly to say, “Leonard, stop distracting her.”

“Sorry,” says Leonard in the least apologetic tone she’s ever heard, and he lets her hand go, putting it back down on her stomach. Penny wants to point out that it’s not distracting her but it’s _totally_ distracting her, and also making her think about Halo and she doesn’t want to be thinking about Halo right now oh dear God make it _stop_.

“Good boy.” Sheldon sounds amused and his accent has thickened appreciably. Although their conversation could _be_ in Texas for all she cares; them talking means they’re not paying attention to her, which makes her unhappy. She digs her nails lightly into the back of Sheldon’s hand and he lets out a fussy little sigh and kisses her again, and she hadn’t realized just how much she missed the feeling of his mouth on hers until it’s back.

She can feel Leonard shifting position -- he’s kneeling between her legs now while she’s lying across Sheldon’s lap, and she really, _really_ hopes that Raj and Howard don’t decide to come back. It’s unclear just what his intentions are until she feels him lean over the two of them and suddenly Sheldon lets out a surprised yelp into the kiss and pulls back abruptly.

“I said no distractions!”

“You said no distracting _Penny_ ,” Leonard corrects him. “You didn’t say no distracting _you_.” Penny opens her eyes in time to see his cheeky grin.

Sheldon shakes his head. “I thought my meaning was perfectly clear.”

“Nope,” Leonard says cheerfully, leaning in again to press his lips to the taut skin of Sheldon’s neck. Sheldon’s eyes flutter closed and he inhales sharply. Penny just watches, fascinated. Who knew this could be so damn _hot_?

She’s still holding Sheldon’s hand with one hand and can feel his fingers tighten on hers, little quick squeezes every time that Leonard does something that feels particularly good. She gets her free hand up to the back of Leonard’s head, threading her fingers through his still slightly shower-damp curls, and silently encourages him to kiss Sheldon’s neck even harder; after making one surprised little noise, he does. Sheldon’s eyes crack open enough to let him see where her hand has gone, but then Leonard starts sucking, and Sheldon not only squeezes his eyes tight shut and gets a death-grip on her hand, but lets out a pure broken lust-soaked moan.

And it’s the most erotic damn thing she’s ever heard.

It’s hard to get her mouth back up to Sheldon’s because he’s got his head tilted to allow Leonard to ravage his neck, but when Leonard realizes what she’s trying to do he pauses to get his right arm around her to hold her up so she can catch Sheldon’s mouth with hers.

She vaguely thinks that she should feel more like she’s in a porno by now than a romance, but there’s an indefinable quality of sweetness to all of this that makes it about more than just sex. It’s all in the way that they move together, supporting and uplifting each other, sharing the experience equally.

* * *

Their centre of gravity shifts again as Leonard turns his attention from Sheldon’s neck to Penny’s, leaning in closer again. she can’t quite hold the kiss with Sheldon when he does that, but Sheldon doesn’t seem to mind; he just presses his lips to her forehead and helps to support her.

Leonard’s working his way down her neck onto her chest; she’s only wearing an orange tank top with a gold butterfly on the front and thin straps, so he’s got access to quite a lot of bare skin without even removing any of her clothing. Sheldon’s watching him intently, as though if he stares hard enough he’ll be able to feel Penny’s skin under his own lips via some kind of psychic transfer.

She tugs lightly on Leonard’s hair, bringing him back up so that she can kiss him on the mouth before wriggling on Sheldon’s lap (and she feels Sheldon’s reaction to her movement as another quick upward jerk of his hips) to get enough space in between their bodies to sneak her hand in and pull on the bottom of Sheldon’s t-shirts. Leonard catches on fast and kneels back up to help her, both of them ignoring Sheldon’s vain attempts to bat their hands away. He doesn’t seem to be earnestly trying to stop them, but as Leonard yanks the Green Lantern t-shirt off and starts folding it (and Penny can just imagine the apoplectic fit that Sheldon would have if the shirt just got tossed on the floor), Sheldon does ask, “Are we _sure_ this is a good idea?”

“Well,” Penny says, shoving his purple long-sleeved t-shirt up, gathering it into a bunch, and tugging it off over his head (and noting that he obediently lifts his arms to allow her to remove it), “considering all the, um, variables of the experiment, and the -- the _findings_ so far, I’d like to think that the outcome will be positive.” She gives them both a sly smile and gets a pair of wide grins in response.

“Awww, Penny. You’re learning our language,” Leonard says fondly.

“We haven’t established what the hypothesis is yet,” says Doctor Sheldon Lee Pedantic Fucking Cretin Cooper.

Penny hooks one hand into a claw, sets it on his chest, and gives him a dangerous look.

“In layman’s terms? We’re going to screw each other’s brains out,” she says. And before he can so much as open his mouth to respond, she kisses him hard and rakes her nails down his bare torso. She hears Leonard gasp at her daring, but that’s nothing compared to the sound that Sheldon makes; an agonized moan, but the sweet agony of pleasure, not pain. If this is what he sounds like _now_ , she can imagine... oh good God, she really is going to do this, isn’t she?

There’s no turning back now anyway. All three of them would always be wondering _what if_?

* * *

Penny moves again so that she’s sitting properly on Sheldon’s lap and can twist sideways to press her breasts to his chest when they kiss again. Leonard scoots forward and she feels his hand slipping up under her top at the back, rucking up the fabric, baring her skin. She turns back to him so that he can slip the top off over her head; he pulls her in for a kiss and she feels the rough fabric of his robe rubbing against her breasts. The feeling makes her close her eyes and sigh, and while her eyes are closed they _pounce_ , Leonard on her left nipple and Sheldon on her right, and the sigh turns to a cry of pleasure at the sensation of both their mouths on her: Leonard’s bold and tongue-flicking and hard-sucking, Sheldon’s slower, more thoughtful, as though he’s savoring a fine dessert.

It doesn’t last long -- the position’s just a little too awkward to hold -- but Penny’s gasping by the time they both sit back and exchange a glance that’s nothing short of triumphant. She leans against Sheldon’s chest and lets out a shuddery breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Good?” Leonard asks solicitously.

Penny inhales deep and slow to clear her head. “It’s lucky your neighbor’s not at home,” she says archly once her brain’s functioning again. “I’d hate for her to hear this and wonder what she was missing out on.”

Leonard snickers and -- wonder of wonders -- Sheldon actually laughs. It’s a little self-conscious, but it’s an honest-to-God _laugh_.

Penny looks at them both with a critical eye and then nudges Leonard towards the other end of the couch, crawling off Sheldon’s lap to kneel on the centre couch cushion facing Leonard, who looks faintly puzzled.

“Penny -- what’re you--”

“You’re overdressed,” Penny informs him before kissing him. She works her way down his chest, spreading his robe open with her hands and kissing a trail south. She feels Sheldon move behind her and then the touch of his long fingers at her waist, first moving down over the flare of her hips, still clad in her red pajama shorts, and then up to graze over the sides of her breasts. When she pauses to look back over her shoulder at him, he has an oddly solemn expression.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You can touch me.”

He seems to gain confidence from her explicit permission, his hands beginning to move more boldly. His fingertips trace the curves of her breasts and then his palms rub up over them, thumbs stroking little circles over her nipples just as she reaches Leonard’s waist and yanks the cord of his robe open with her teeth. All three of them gasp at once, out of surprise or pleasure or both.

Penn has to give up on Leonard’s robe temporarily; Sheldon’s hands are just too distracting. He plays her like his theremin, all graceful sweeping movements that make her body sing. Gradually he eases her up until she’s sitting back on her heels with his chest against her back, his hands still exploring the front of her body.

Leonard’s robe gapes open as he moves to press up against her from the front, and Penny recovers her senses long enough to sluggishly lift her hands to push the robe down off his shoulders. Sheldon takes his hands off her long enough to help; suddenly she’s caught tight between them as he leans over her shoulder to kiss Leonard. She finds that she doesn’t mind this in the slightest, even considers getting out of their way to let them be closer to each other, but then the kiss breaks and Leonard’s mouth immediately finds hers while Sheldon’s finds the spot on the side of her neck just below her ear that, when kissed, makes her literally go weak at the knees.

This makes her disinclined to move anywhere at all, really.

She puts her hands on Leonard’s waist, thumbs moving in little teasy-stroky lines down towards his groin, which makes him press in even closer against her, entrapping Sheldon’s hands between them. Leonard’s hands brush over her hips and sneak in between her and Sheldon and for a second she thinks he’s going for her ass, and for a second his hands do go there, but his real goal is getting Sheldon’s pants off; Penny feels him popping open the button. Sheldon exhales shakily right by her ear and then arches his back just a little so that Leonard can finish working his pants open and start getting them down. Sheldon’s head settles onto Penny’s shoulder and he’s kissing her neck again, but the lack of his earlier finesse lets her know that he no longer has as much self-control as he did earlier. This only gets reinforced when Leonard deliberately strokes Sheldon through his underwear and Sheldon thrusts against his hand and makes another agonized little sound, as though that touch has set something on fire inside of him.

* * *

There’s only so far that Leonard can get Sheldon naked while they’re all three of them tangled together like this, and so at last they have to relocate. Sheldon stands up to let Leonard drag his pants and underwear the rest of the way off. Leonard adds a little dramatic flair to the gesture by first tossing his robe onto the coffee table (where it lands with a suspicious little thunk) and then dropping to his knees in front of Sheldon, getting him to lift one foot at a time so he can get Sheldon’s clothes off. Sheldon just stands there while Leonard does it, looking down with an expression that’s a strange mixture of affection and just plain arousal.

Penny can’t stop looking from one of them to the other. How do two men who eat take-out nearly every Goddamned night and spend most of their time sitting on their asses either playing computer games or working manage to still look so fit? It’s beyond her. Must be the paintball. Or all that pacing back and forth in front of their whiteboards. Whatever it is, they might not be muscle-bound he-men, but in that moment when they’re both finally laid bare before her for the first time she knows that physique doesn’t matter: they are both beautiful and sexy and adorable and _hers_.

Leonard stays on his knees even once the last of Sheldon’s clothing is tidied away, and runs his hands slowly up Sheldon’s thighs, purposefully avoiding any more intimate touching -- for the moment. Still, Sheldon’s legs go wobbly and he sits back down in his spot, looking shaken.

It occurs to Penny that now they’re pretty much all back where they were when all of this began, except for the part where she’s now the only one with any clothes left on, and Leonard isn’t leaning up to kiss Sheldon. He _intends_ to, oh yes; Penny can see it telegraphed in his eyes, in the tilt of his head, but he isn’t just yet. He’s moving in a little closer first, hands still trailing lines along Sheldon’s thighs. Sheldon spreads his legs a little wider, totally focused on Leonard for the moment, not that Penny can blame him.

And then Leonard doesn’t kiss Sheldon after all, but ducks his head and takes Sheldon’s cock into his mouth, lips slipping around the head before he moves down as far as he can, and Sheldon arches up into Leonard’s mouth, clenching his fists and moaning. Penny feels a single hard pulse between her own thighs as though Leonard’s mouth is on her instead of Sheldon. God. _God_.

She reaches out in a daze and starts caressing Sheldon’s chest, testing his nipples for sensitivity with short little flicks -- ah, yes, that makes him jump and make little noises that she quite likes. His head is lolling back against the back of the couch, his whole body a study in tense straight lines. Leonard, by contrast, is all curls and softness and -- and one hand leaving Sheldon’s thigh for hers, groping blindly to find her bare skin and trace a line up her inner thigh as far as he can reach. At some point he took his glasses off; Penny wonders how she didn’t notice sooner but oh yeah, there’s the tiny matter of him having his face buried between Sheldon’s thighs. Yeah. That would explain it.

She pulls away from them both and stands up, and Leonard stops what he’s doing to look up at her. He should look utterly ridiculous, squinting and messy-haired and naked, but somehow he doesn’t. Sheldon makes a little whimpery noise of protest when Leonard stops.

“Don’t stop,” Penny says, surprised at how breathy her voice comes out.

Leonard looks up at her a moment longer until she hooks her fingers into her waistband and starts pulling her shorts down. Then he resumes the task at hand -- or rather, at mouth -- apparently satisfied that she’s not standing up to get dressed and bolt from the apartment.

Penny kicks her shorts away, heedless of where they end up, and settles back onto the couch beside Sheldon, who’s lost the last vestiges of composure and is breathing so fast he’s practically gasping. She puts one hand on his chest and feels his heart pounding away.

“You look so hot,” she murmurs, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck, which is reddened where Leonard was kissing him earlier. That’s going to be interesting to explain to his colleagues; what’s he gonna say, he was bitten by an equation? “Does it feel good? Tell me how good it feels, Sheldon.”

“Gah -- God -- Penny--”

She scratches his chest again, scoring her nails lightly across his skin. “Too good to talk, huh? I’m not surprised. He looks good down there.” Both of them moan at that, although Leonard’s is considerably more muffled.

She stops talking then, pressing her mouth to the side of Sheldon’s neck once more. He tastes very faintly of soap and mostly of skin salted with desire. She’s intent on making that innocuous red spot a little less innocent, a little harder to explain away as nothing; she wants to make people wonder who managed to undo straight-laced Dr Cooper.

“Oh God Penny.” The words rush together out of his mouth. “Leonard... Penny...”

Impressive. He can still form whole words, even though his fingers are digging so deeply into the couch leather that they’ll probably leave scratch marks.

She can tell he’s close to coming; his whole body seems to be tensing in preparation. She reaches down and threads her fingers through Leonard’s hair again, tugging lightly, pulling him off Sheldon as she slips to her knees on the floor beside him to take over. There’s just enough of a pause between Leonard stopping and her starting for Sheldon to take a step back from the metaphorical edge.

Penny uses her hands on him as well as her mouth, fingers tightening around his shaft when she can feel the coiling tension about to break free, her other hand exploring the delicate skin of his inner thighs, brushing feather-light, feeling the heat coming off him.

“Penny, Penny, _Penny_.” It sounds like a plea or a prayer.

“Proxima Centauri’s the nearest star,” she hears Leonard murmur, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.

After all of Sheldon’s surprisingly vocal pleas and moans and whimpers, she’s expecting something really loud when he finally comes, but what she gets is a choked, “Oh _God_!” that sounds like his orgasm has taken him quite by surprise. His cock jerks in her hand and the taste of him floods her mouth; she swallows reflexively and then runs her tongue around the head of him just to make him squirm at that last little touch on super-sensitized skin.

She lifts her head and stretches, admiring her handiwork. Sheldon is sprawled out looking completely undone. He’s still half-hard, legs splayed out, hands only just beginning to unclench from the couch cushion, mouth hanging open as he gasps for enough oxygen to get that genius brain of his working again. And he’s staring at her as though she’s some sort of goddess. (Or, okay, some sort of Nobel Prize winner, to be perfectly honest.)

Leonard’s still on the floor beside her, leaning against the couch, looking a little dazed. He’s got his hand wrapped around his own cock (and Penny feels an odd rush of arousal, thinking of him getting off on watching the two of them, even if he hasn’t come just yet), and Penny reaches out to lightly rap his knuckles with her fingertips.

“Don’t,” is all she says before rising to her feet and padding across the room to fetch a can of diet Dr. Pepper out of the fridge. She pops the top and chugs about a third of it in one go, then strolls back over to them, trying and mostly succeeding in not feeling self-conscious about the way they’re both watching her move. She settles back down onto the couch beside Sheldon, who is at least starting to look as though he might remember how to add one and one together and get two.

Or to add one and one and one together and get _this_.

* * *

Leonard promptly scootches close to her and rests his head on her thigh, looking up at her. “You’re amazing, Penny,” he says simply.

She can’t help but laugh as she offers the soda can to Sheldon, who automatically takes it and downs a few sips before handing it back without so much as a snide remark about sharing germs; he still looks out of it. Whoops. Maybe she broke him. “I’ve barely touched you!”

“Yeah... but... this...” Leonard gestures to encompass the three of them, unable to articulate whatever it is he wants to say.

Sheldon uncurls one hand from the couch cushion, finds her hand, and brings it to his lips, brushing a light kiss over her skin. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

“Sweetie, you don’t need to thank me...”

“Hey, he didn’t even bother to thank _me_ , and I did most of the work,” Leonard gripes good-naturedly.

“I didn’t thank you _yet_ ,” Sheldon says, and there’s so many layers of meaning and promise invested in that last word that Penny shivers in anticipation. She hastily leans forward to put the soda can on the coffee table before she spills it. Her aim is a little off, and she almost drops it on the floor, and when she scrabbles to right it she knocks Leonard’s discarded robe and a little bottle falls out of the pocket. Leonard grabs for it to put it back before she can see, but Penny’s faster. When she realizes it’s a bottle of lube her eyes go wide as the full implications of, well, _everything_ hit her all at once. If Leonard can do what he just did to Sheldon, then he and Raj really... they actually... oh God.

She puts the bottle neatly down on the table and arches her eyebrows at Leonard. “So, sweetie,” she says as calmly as possible, “care to explain what that’s doing in your pocket?”

“Why, Penny,” Sheldon says, “I’m surprised you don’t already know what that’s for.”

She shoots him a sharp glare before spotting the twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth. He puts an arm around her shoulders and draws her closer. Apparently now that she’s crossed a line with him, his shields are down; she wonders exactly when that happened and then decides not to worry about it. Leonard takes advantage of her shift in position to nudge her legs apart and move in between them, his hair brushing against her thigh. It’s like they have some kind of roommate telepathy going on considering the way she seems to have ended up exactly where they want her.

Leonard presses his open mouth, tongue flicking, against her inner thigh, very close to her centre, and she shifts restlessly, reaching down to touch the back of his head in wordless encouragement.

Sheldon has apparently quite recovered, as he reaches across her with his free hand to take her hand off Leonard’s head and lift it up to where he can grasp her wrist with his right hand so that her hand’s caught up near her shoulder; she gives him a slightly puzzled look and he responds with a smile that’s kinda dangerous-looking.

“Open your legs wider,” he says softly, fingers of his left hand now closing on her left wrist and pulling it towards him, planting a light kiss on the back of it before pinning it to the couch cushion. She blinks at him, shocked and aroused all at once, and hears Leonard’s sharp inhale before he takes advantage of the situation and moves further in, lips dotting kisses over her skin frustratingly slowly. Then the arousal takes over altogether and she’s moving up against Leonard’s mouth, whispering things like “yes” and “please” and “now, damn it, Leonard!”

He stops short of where she really needs him to be, breath ghosting over her, and looks up at Sheldon. “You don’t really think she didn’t know what the lube’s for, do you?” he asks, trying to sound casual.

Penny’s about three seconds from wrapping her legs around his neck.

“Of course she knows,” Sheldon answers, his thumbs rubbing over her skin, fingers still locked around her wrists. “Don’t you, Penny?” His voice is low, insinuating. “She just likes thinking about it and is pushing for details, that’s all.”

Penny tries to hide her blush by ducking her head so that her hair falls around her face, but she knows they both saw.

“Is he right, Penny?” Leonard asks.

“Ffff,” says Penny, which is not exactly a coherent response.

“You should be able to tell,” Sheldon informs Leonard. “I imagine she’s already quite physically aroused.”

Leonard’s tongue is suddenly on her, and Penny bucks her hips a little and moans, but his mouth is gone as fast as it was there in the first place and she lets out a plaintive little whine.

“Oh yeah, she is,” Leonard says, sounding impressed. “So Sheldon _is_ right, Penny?”

Penny snaps.

“Of course he’s right! Sheldon’s always frickin’ right! Yeah, I think it’s hot that you and Raj slept together. Yeah, I like watching you and Sheldon together. Maybe you should call Howard and get him back here, then you’d have a full bingo card and maybe that’d be hot too! Just please, Leonard... I want... God...” She trails off into incoherence.

Sheldon’s hands squeeze a little tighter on her wrists for a second, and Leonard looks up at her with an awful wounded expression as though she’s just slapped him. Penny mentally replays her words and groans at herself.

“I didn’t mean it like that...”

“You offended Leonard,” Sheldon says quietly.

Penny doesn’t know what she’s supposed to say to that. Sheldon clicks his tongue and sighs, looking down at Leonard, who isn’t saying anything. It’s as though there’s another moment of that spooky telepathy between them, because Leonard begins trailing his fingers along her thighs, teasingly close to fulfilling what she wants, following his touches with kisses that also don’t quite go where she needs them to, while Sheldon begins speaking, soft and low.

“If you really think that Leonard’s just after notches on his bedpost--”

“I _don’t_!”

Sheldon continues as though she didn’t even speak, “--then you’re wrong. Back when Leonard first moved in with me, there was one night when he was showering and knocked his glasses onto the floor. He called for my aid and, although I was hard at work and naturally averse to going into the bathroom while he was in there, I went to help him. I--” His tongue comes out to nervously wet his lips. “I had a certain attraction to him beyond mere friendship that had been growing increasingly distracting, and I couldn’t, simply couldn’t resist acting upon it that night.”

Leonard’s touches had slowed, and now they stop abruptly, as though this is a surprise for him to hear as well as for her.

Sheldon’s voice drops to an even more intimate tone. “Can you imagine Leonard seven years ago, so young and lost and blind? God help me, it wasn’t as though I had anything to offer in the way of experience, but I couldn’t keep from kissing him and -- and touching him. He was only wearing a towel, after all.”

Penny is starting to have trouble breathing. Well, she is and she isn’t. It’s only because the world has shrunk down to the three of them again, and Sheldon’s voice is hypnotic and arousing at the same time, especially considering what he’s saying. She _can_ imagine the two of them seven years younger, fumbling through that first awkward intimate moment, and it sure as hell isn’t doing anything to cool her down.

“I wouldn’t let him touch me back. I was afraid of getting too attached. After that night I kept myself under control for two years, Penny. Two years knowing he was right there in the next room, two years fighting my... my base desires in the name of getting my work done.”

She’s practically holding her breath in order to hear him speak. Leonard’s hands start moving on her again, sleeking over her thighs and down to her ankles, then up again, but his attention is still mostly fixed on Sheldon.

“The next time was after he had his wisdom teeth out.” His lips curve into a wry smile. “He was on so many painkillers that I don’t know if he even remembers the incident in question.”

“I remember,” Leonard says.

Sheldon acknowledges this with a nod. “I fell prey to the old cliché of kissing a speck of food away from his lip, and once again was unable to resist taking things a little further. Unfortunately, then I had to keep him from falling asleep, due to the risk the painkillers still in his system would pose.”

“He let me watch _Babylon 5_.”

“And you kept referring to me as ‘Ivanova’, which to be perfectly honest I never really understood.”

“Did you two...”

“Directly after a major operation? Of course not, Penny.”

“Not that time,” Leonard contributes, sliding his tongue along her skin, making her shiver.

Sheldon meets her eyes directly. “It was after he--”

“Sheldon, don’t,” Leonard cuts him off.

“I think she needs the context.”

“I think I know the context,” Penny says shakily. “After we broke up.”

Sheldon gives her one of those single curt nods again. “He was spending a lot of time alone in his room and I was concerned about him, so one night I went in to see if he was all right. He wasn’t. I helped him be all right.”

Leonard sort of chuckles. “You made me more than just ‘all right’, Sheldon.”

“I believe the popular phrase is ‘made him come his brains out’,” Sheldon concedes, and those words from Sheldon’s prim physicist mouth are so dirty-sexy that she hopes there’s more to the story, even though it hurts to know she hurt Leonard so much. Besides, she can see it in her head: the two of them in Leonard’s darkened bedroom, going hesitantly from kissing to touching to the ultimate intimacy. And she knows, just knows, from the way Leonard looks at Sheldon, who was on top. The thought is simultaneously sweet and sexy, Sheldon’s taller body covering or spooned around Leonard’s, his protection and shield for a time. Leonard’s obviously recalling it as well because his touches get uncoordinated again for a moment.

“It happened again.” Sheldon’s mouth is right by her ear now and she feels his breath on her neck a second before he actually kisses her, right on that same spot that makes her knees go weak, and an eidetic memory must come in handy for remembering your partner’s preferences in bed. She attempts to move her hands to pull him closer, but his fingers clamp down, immovable, keeping her pinned, which is scary-new and exciting, knowing that she’s not going anywhere unless he lets her. “I was afraid of getting too distracted by coitus to get any work done, so I backed off again and tried to focus on Amy Farrah Fowler.”

She feels rather than hears Leonard hiss softly at the mention of Amy’s name.

“Which is where tonight comes in. I returned home after dinner and caught Leonard and Koothrappali _in flagrante delicto_ , as it were, and called Wolowitz for advice about how to handle the situation. I must say he was rather angrier than I’d expected,” he adds, and Penny can’t help but think that, stupid as she might have been not to realize just what Leonard means to Sheldon, anyone would have to be downright naïve to not see the truth of what’s going on between Howard and Raj.

“And here we are,” Leonard puts in, unexpectedly sucking quick and hard at her inner thigh about an inch from where she could really use his mouth right now, especially after that mental image of the two of them together. Even though she gets the point Sheldon’s trying to make, that there’s more underlying this than just physical gratification (and now she’s even thinking in his kind of terminology, what the hell), a little physical gratification would be nice right now, or in fact about ten minutes ago.

“Here we are,” Penny echoes faintly. “I really didn’t mean what I said...” She feels like a broken record spinning lopsidedly on an unbalanced turntable.

“And?” Sheldon inquires, raising an eyebrow.

“And...” For a second she can’t think what the hell he wants her to say, but then gets it. “I’m sorry.”

That does the trick. Leonard’s mouth is suddenly pressed hot and eager against her, tongue working over her clit with practiced ease (she remembers telling him with gasps and moans exactly what feels best for her), and Sheldon practically purrs, “Good girl, Penny,” into her ear before kissing her, catching the loud moan that wants to burst out of her.

That’s the last thing she can coherently remember before it all dissolves into the heat of their respective mouths, the feeling of Sheldon’s fingers around her wrists, of Leonard’s tongue moving over her. She’s already so far gone that it only takes a few moments before she’s gasping into Sheldon’s mouth as Leonard puts her over the edge.

Sheldon takes his mouth away from hers long enough to say one word to Leonard: “Again.”

And Leonard obeys.

* * *

Penny’s boneless and breathless and floating and flying. Her whole universe has shrunk to this couch and is turning and turning on Leonard’s tongue and lips against her. He gives her one last soft kiss and then moves away and up, his erection pressing against her thigh as he leans in to kiss Sheldon. she can only tell that he’s kissing Sheldon because suddenly Sheldon isn’t kissing her any more and he makes a sound of surprise that is decidedly muffled. She forces her eyes to open, her nerves still tingling and uncoordinated, so that she can see.

They’re not just kissing. Sheldon is exploring Leonard’s lips and tongue with his own tongue in a way that would look sloppy and silly if it weren’t for the fact that she knows he’s seeking out the taste of her on Leonard’s mouth. Because she knows this, intuiting it from Sheldon’s controlled directed movements and how patiently Leonard is letting him do it, she can do nothing more than let her head loll back against the couch and let out a soft moan, keeping her eyes focused on them.

Leonard’s the first to cotton on to the fact that she’s openly ogling them and slides his hands either side of Sheldon’s face, cupping his cheeks, stroking little circles over Sheldon’s high cheekbones with his thumbs. Sheldon ups the ante by settling one hand on the back of Leonard’s neck and curling the other around a fistful of Leonard’s hair. She can see Leonard peeking a little through his lowered eyelashes at her and wants to do something to indicate her thorough approval of what she’s witnessing, but maybe the fact that she can’t do anything other than sit there and gape like a goldfish does that for her.

The two of them separate at long last but keep looking at each other. Gazing, actually. Leonard still looks hectically aroused, his hair mussed, cheeks red, lips wet. Sheldon looks oddly composed given the situation, although there’s a tinge of pink to his face as well.

“If I had a camera this would be perfect for your Christmas cards,” Penny says.

Leonard laughs. Sheldon just goes pinker and says, “I’m not sure that my mother would approve.”

“My mom would probably prefer it if I was with a girl,” Leonard agrees.

“Technically, you _are_ with a girl,” Penny points out, running her hand up his thigh.

“Aw, you know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Leonard, could you stand up for a moment?” Sheldon interrupts. Leonard does, taking a step back, looking faintly bemused. Penny feels the way Leonard looks; neither of them know what they’re expecting Sheldon to do, but it certainly isn’t what he _does_ do.

What he _does_ do is slip sinuously off the couch, onto his knees in front of her, slide his hands up her thighs, parting them, and bend his head to lick her.

“Ohmy _god_ ,” Penny moans, and Leonard echoes it, standing staring down at the two of them before practically falling onto the couch beside Penny and curling closer to her.

Sheldon’s lips and tongue are more cautious and gentle and slow against her than Leonard’s; he’s doing the same thing as before, testing to see what kind of contact she likes best. Right this instant there’s very little he can do wrong. She feels like she’s going to melt or explode or implode or all three simultaneously.

“Flatten your tongue against her and go slowly,” Leonard advises, voice cracking. “She likes that.”

Sheldon goes, “Hmmm,” and tries it, and Penny claws into the couch cushions and shoots Leonard a death glare to which he responds with a sly smirk. She wipes the smirk off his face by reaching over to wrap her fingers around his cock and start stroking.

“Leave him alone, Penny,” Sheldon says, the buzz of his words against her more distracting than actually audible. To her surprise Leonard actually reaches down to take her hand off him, seeming reluctant but doing it nonetheless.

“Why?” she manages to gasp as Sheldon presses one finger against her, moving slick-smooth between her folds, and in _oh God more_.

“Because I think I know what he has planned,” Leonard answers for him as Sheldon’s finger twists inside her and suddenly all of Penny’s other senses shut down to focus on touch alone.

She can’t help but move against him seeking out more attention, and Sheldon’s hand settles on her hip, holding her down again. He acts like this when he’s writing on his board: tightly focused, no room for errors, no room to move outside the parameters of his experiment. Right now she’s his experiment, and trying to alter the variables that he’s currently toying with is like trying to stop a flood with a single stick. All she can do is let the tide carry her inexorably along.

Sheldon twists and curls the finger inside her until she’s rolling her hips against his hand, and just when she’s teetering on the brink he withdraws his finger. Penny goes, “Nnnh!” in protest but then he’s easing two fingers into her and his mouth descends onto her again and the protest changes to a murmur of pleasure, “Oh, _Sheldon_ ,” sighed out in a tone she’s never used to him before.

Leonard rests his head against her shoulder and brings one hand up to start stroking her skin lightly, soft light touches scattered across her breasts. “I never would have thought that watching my ex-girlfriend with my roommate would be so hot,” he says wonderingly.

“Never thought -- oh God -- you two--” That’s about all that Penny can manage, but Leonard seems to get the picture.

Sheldon apparently decides she’s nonetheless too coherent, because he starts flicking her clit with his tongue, curling the fingers within her every few flicks. She can only just see his eyes as he peeks up at her before continuing, and they’re dancing with delight and secret glee. It takes her a minute or so to figure it out: flick, flick, flick, curl; flick, flick, flick, curl; flick, flick, flick, curl. When she gets it she squeals and feels the hum-rumble of his laughter.

“What, what’s he doing?” Leonard asks.

“He’s--” But however Penny might explain it, and she’s not entirely sure that she could if she tried, she can’t, because Sheldon has started those long delicious licks again and his fingers are unerringly moving within her to the rhythm of her quickening heartbeat and she just doesn’t have _words_ any more.

He brings her breathless-boneless-floating-flying, her whole body tightening up and then shaking with release, and it’s _so_ good. Almost too good, in fact; he tries to press her for another and she’s too sensitive and lets out a protesting noise, trying to push him away. Leonard reaches down to catch Sheldon’s hand by the wrist and pull it away, sucking those two fingers into his mouth, and Sheldon sits bolt upright and makes a noise like he’s been electrocuted.

And that’s when Leonard’s phone rings.

* * *

“Don’t answer it!” Penny yelps, but Leonard is a creature of habit and is already reaching for the phone.

“It’s Raj, I have to take it.”

“ _Why_?”

“After earlier? If I ignore him he’ll think _I_ hate him too.” Leonard raises the phone to his ear and lets go of Sheldon’s hand.

“Hey, Raj.”

Sheldon looks at Penny.

“Oh, you did? Great... how come it took you so long?”

Penny grins at Sheldon.

“Uh-huh, well, I guess traffic can be kinda busy at midnight, sure.”

Sheldon’s hand, wet from touching Penny and from Leonard’s mouth, slips into Leonard’s lap and closes around his cock. Penny moves to bury her mouth against the side of Leonard’s neck. Consequently, the next thing he says is, “Well, as long as y-- oh _gah_.” He vainly tries to push them both away with his free hand. “Uh -- as long as you and Howard both m-made it home ok _aaah_ \--”

Penny lifts her head long enough to share a smile with her co-conspirator -- maybe the telepathy isn’t limited to roommates after all -- before repositioning herself so that she can take the head of Leonard’s cock into her mouth, her lips pressing down against Sheldon’s fingers.

“What? N-nothing, I just, ah, stubbed my toe-ohhh--” He’s making a valiant effort, but it’s not quite good enough. “Was Howard’s m-mom angry?”

Penny rolls her tongue around him and feels him trying to stop her with his free hand, but Sheldon also has a free hand and she has to keep from laughing at the unseen struggle going on over her head.

“So Howard went home with you. Right. Got it. So you’re both okay. That’s great.” Leonard’s trying to gasp inaudibly between short sentences. “Why are you calling me, exactly?”

Sheldon’s lips find the side of Penny’s neck and she moans around her mouthful.

“No, we’re fine, thanks for asking, bye.” She can tell Leonard’s hung up the phone because the next thing he says is, “I hate you both so much.”

“No, you don’t,” Penny says.

“He doesn’t,” Sheldon agrees. “I’m _reasonably_ certain that was sarcasm.”

“‘Reasonably certain’? I thought you’d le--aaah, oh God.” Leonard trails off mid-sentence, because Sheldon’s just squeezed him and triumphantly announced, “Bazinga!”

Penny dissolves into laughter; she can’t help it. The smirk on Sheldon’s face coupled with the outrage on Leonard’s is too amusing. Never mind that they’re all engaging in acts that she would usually would have expected Sheldon to not only object strenuously to, but also to Febreze the couch afterwards.

Huh. Have Sheldon and Leonard ever done anything like this on the couch? The thought sends a contemplative shiver through her.

“Whatcha thinking about, Penny?” Leonard asks, voice still a little shaky.

Penny almost can’t say it, almost can’t confess what she’s thinking. But after all they’ve done together, shyness seems a little pointless. “You two together.”

The two of them exchange another long look. It goes on so long she starts to wonder if this is the extended edition of The Look. (Then she starts to wonder if she’s absorbed too much geekese from them.) Then Sheldon leans in to kiss Leonard again, obviously for her benefit; she misses whatever it is that his hand does in Leonard’s lap but it makes Leonard moan.

“Penny would make a good slash fangirl,” Sheldon observes, letting go of Leonard and getting up, stretching his arms out, surprisingly unselfconscious, even when Penny’s eyes linger on his body. She thinks again of how well-built they both are for men who live on take-out.

“She already is, I found _Scrubs_ smut in her browser history the last time I fixed her laptop keyboard.” Leonard gets up as well and she can hear the way his back crackles when he stretches. He’s still fully aroused and Penny wonders how he’s managed to sit through all of this without release, then remembers Raj and whatever they did, and maybe that’s why Sheldon’s made her keep her hands off him: he’s technically already gotten his tonight.

Not with them, though. Not with her. And despite all the pleasure they’ve both already brought her (both of them; so strange to think of), she wants to give him this, to reward him for his patience, to absolve him of whatever sin it is he’s committed against Sheldon.

She too rises to her feet, arms going around Leonard’s neck, pulling him into a deep, lingering kiss. As far as she’s concerned it’s his turn for some attention, and the hard heat of him against her thigh would indicate his agreement on that score. She sinks back down onto the couch, lying down this time, pulling him down atop her, and he goes without protest.

“Why the hell were you going through my browser history?” she asks, rubbing up against him.

“Um.”

Her hand runs down his back. “That’s meant to be private, you know.” She squeezes his backside and he makes a startled noise and presses closer into her before pulling back a little.

“S-sorry?”

“I guess I could overlook it this time.” Another squeeze, and damn it, she wants him in her _right now_.

“God, Penny, please...” He turns his head, looks up at Sheldon, who’s watching them not quite impassively. “Sheldon...”

“Go on,” Sheldon says in an odd gentle tone, and Leonard nearly breaks an ankle getting off the couch to dig a condom out of the robe pocket (an easy task; another three spill out when he does it), and the packet crinkles and Penny’s still trying to puzzle out the look on Sheldon’s face when Leonard settles back between her legs. Then he’s moving forward and into her and she forgets all about Sheldon for a moment. The couch isn’t the most comfortable place for this ever but there’s no way in hell she’s going to suggest they relocate now.

Sheldon sits back down in his spot, adroitly avoiding their feet; Penny can just about see him over Leonard’s shoulder, especially since she’s kind of propped up against the end of the couch (she’s pretty sure she was subconsciously avoiding putting her feet in Sheldon’s spot, even considering how distracted she was while getting comfortable). He’s looking at her, at them, like he’s solving for the very last _x_ in a long and complicated equation.

* * *

Leonard’s taking things slower than usual. Not that he’s usually a speed demon or anything, but it’s like he’s doing it on purpose this time, taking it slow for her benefit. It feels amazingly good, especially considering how sensitive she is after the two of them playing with her. A mini-flashback sequence runs through her head of just how they did all that and her whole body shudders.

“Oh God...”

“Penny...” Leonard suddenly stops moving and writhes a little, eyes widening. “God, Sheldon!”

Penny cranes her neck to see over Leonard’s shoulder in time to see Sheldon set the bottle of lube back down on the coffee table and her own eyes go wide at the implications. Leonard’s mouth is hanging open and he’s gasping and though she can’t see exactly what Sheldon’s doing she can see the focused intent look on his face and the movement of his arm and she can guess. And thinking about it was one thing (not to mention reading that story about JD and Dr Cox and _damn him_ for poking through her browser history, she was just _curious_ ) but seeing it, particularly this up close and personal, is something altogether deeper, more visceral. It’s confronting and real and there and takes her breath away.

Leonard’s eyes are scrunched tightly closed and he’s gasping for each breath. He’s still moving inside her but with less coordination, plus he’s pretty clearly bucking back against Sheldon’s fingers, and she personally knows how talented those fingers can be.

Just when she thinks Leonard’s about to come, just when she’s sure he can’t hold back any more between the feeling of being in her and the merciless movements of Sheldon’s fingers, Sheldon evidently withdraws his hand, because Leonard lets out a little cry of protest and his eyes snap open, his head twisting around so he can attempt to look at Sheldon. Penny moves up against him twice more and then stops because he’s stopped because Sheldon’s stopped.

“ _Please_!” They both say it, both plaintive and needy.

She hears the familiar sounds of a condom wrapper being opened, sees Sheldon move up onto his knees, and has half a second to wonder if this is even going to physically _work_ before Leonard makes a noise she’s never heard from him before and Sheldon leans forward, bracing himself against the back of the couch, and she can feel his weight pressing into them.

Well. Huh. It _is_ physically working.

Sheldon’s trying to keep his weight off them as much as he can, but it doesn’t change the fact that Penny’s under them both, and she’s waiting for it to get uncomfortable, but then Sheldon starts moving and Leonard picks up his rhythm and then all three of them are moving together, occasionally one of them hitting the off-beat, but mostly making it work. Slow and slow. Leonard’s biting his lip and mumbling something to himself that, as near as she can tell, is the periodic table backwards. Sheldon’s not doing anything to distract himself from coming; he’s just -- doing it. Doing _Leonard_.

It’s up close and personal and right there and she thinks that this can’t possibly happening, that she must actually be imagining it, because none of this night seems possible.

But it is. Leonard’s body is pressed close against hers, his heartbeat resonating through her flesh, and Sheldon’s leaning down, chest not quite right against Leonard’s back, but close. Close enough so that when he opens his mouth (and God does she want to catch that full lower lip between her teeth and lick it) to speak, both of them can hear him clearly.

“It’s good to know Koothrappali didn’t entirely wear you out, Leonard.” Both of them gasp with shock and lose the rhythm for a second, but Sheldon keeps moving and brings them back to it. “I’d hate to think that you couldn’t enjoy this with us.”

All Penny can manage in response to this is, “Oh _God_.”

“You wouldn’t have touched Penny if I weren’t here,” Leonard retorts, emphasizing his words with a particularly hard thrust into her.

“Wouldn’t I?”

The words hang in the air between them for a long moment before Leonard lets out an inarticulate moan and drops his forehead to Penny’s shoulder. Sheldon’s eyes meet Penny’s and there’s a wild mixture of caring and lust and she doesn’t know what all else in them. He bends his head and kisses her and it’s not the least bit shy or awkward at all. For a long moment, as his tongue flickers over hers, she can feel the truth of his words deep down inside her.

Just when it’s getting to be too much and she literally almost can’t breathe, Sheldon pulls back up again, shifting his weight over them, and Leonard lifts his head and kisses her hard, careless and messy and passionate. But Sheldon, being Sheldon, isn’t done talking yet.

“You could have come to me, Leonard. I’ve always been here for you.”

“I couldn’t -- I -- I was -- _Sheldon_ \--” Leonard’s lapsing into incoherence. How the hell Sheldon is managing to talk as much as he is as clearly as he is is beyond Penny. Years of practice talking while focused on other tasks, she assumes.

“You _should_ have come to me.” Sheldon presses his lips to the back of Leonard’s neck. “I had you first; you were mine _first_.”

Leonard’s face twists and his mouth opens, but no words come out; he just lets out a moan of pure pleasure and his fingers dig into her shoulders and she sees the look of satisfaction on Sheldon’s face before his eyes close and a similar sound is torn from his throat, and like one domino tipping over and knocking the next and the next down, their orgasms trigger her own and she’s spiraling up, up, up into a level of pleasure she’s never quite hit before, probably because she’s never been in this exact situation before.

She calls out their names when she comes, hears her own name in Leonard’s whimpering and Sheldon’s deeper tones and clings onto them both for dear life, like the couch’s a tiny lifeboat on a vast and unfamiliar sea.

“Mine,” she hears Sheldon whisper again, and this time she’s not sure if he means Leonard or her or both of them.

* * *

Penny’s not sure how much later they finally separate, but it’s not until after a clumsy silly three-way kiss that doesn’t really work but makes them all kind of laugh. Getting apart is harder, oddly enough, than getting together in the first place; there’s a lot of fumbling and embarrassed laughing and then they can’t quite decide where to look.

Penny ends up being the one to say, “I should really go home, you guys, I have the lunch shift tomorrow and it’s already three in the morning...” If the logistics of the three of them having sex at once was complicated she doesn’t even want to think how they’d manage to accommodate their disparate sleeping habits and wake-up times in one bed.

“Three in the morning!” Sheldon exclaims. “There’s no way that I’m going to get enough sleep to be fresh when I wake up.” He smiles the smile of a cat who got the cream. The cream with the early bird dunked in it. “I doubt I’ll have any trouble _falling_ asleep, though.”

“Me either,” Leonard says, stifling a yawn with the palm of his hand.

Penny pulls on as much of her clothing as she can find to make herself presentable enough to scamper across the hall to her own room and bundles the rest under her arm. She kisses them both goodnight, Sheldon first, then Leonard, and then doesn’t know what to say. Finally she settles on, “See you guys in the morning,” and blows them another kiss from the doorway.

When she showers she’s tired and happily sore, and she crawls into bed feeling pleasantly dazed. She’s too worn out for her brain to kick in and go _hey, what the hell did you just do?_ She slips between cool sheets, rolls onto her side, pulls a pillow into her arms. She feels oddly alone without at least one of them pressed against her, but that will pass as soon as she goes over there in the morning and scams a piece of toast and gets the chance to put her arms around one of them.

She’s confused, of course, and happy, and more confused, but hey, she’s _happy_ , and compared to how she was feeling before all of this began, it seems like progress.


End file.
